You know you are getting older when "happy hour" is a nap.
Remember when we used to laugh at old people when we were young? Do you recall what was so funny?
Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do.
He is at an age that whenever a pretty girl smiles at him he immediately looks down to see what is unzipped.
The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.
Middle age is when you have met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else and usually is.
The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you'll grow out of it.
He's so old his social security number is in Roman numerals.
Pushing fifty is exercise enough.
Enjoy how sweet, how thoughtful, how kind I'm being on your birthday. Because tomorrow it's back to the same old crap.
Hope your Birthday was a great one, Jim!!
