Famous Quotes

soilmovers

Well-known member
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself ~~"Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."
-- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)


I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."

-- Eleanor Roosevelt


Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

-- Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.

-- George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- - Victor Borge
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
-- Mark Twain


By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

-- Socrates
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

-- Alex Levine



[FONT=arial, helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=arial, helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=times new roman, new york, times, serif][FONT=arial, helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=arial, helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=times new roman, new york, times, serif]I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon.
Then it's time for my nap.

-- Bob Hope


I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

-- W.C. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

-- Will Rogers


Don't worry about avoiding temptation as you grow older, it will avoid you.

-- Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty . but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

-- Phyllis Diller

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

-- Bill
y Crystal

The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.


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