Man of the House!

jimtoo

Moderator
I think this would most likely be a very true story.


The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, “You Can Be the Man of Your House.”

He stormed over to his wife in the kitchen and announced, “From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and...well... you get the point.

“Later, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe... Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?”

Without even looking up from her morning paper the wife replied, “The funeral director would be my first guess.”



Anybody willing to try this or do we have a bunch of chickens here?? :D

Jim M
 

talley

Well-known member
I think this would most likely be a very true story.


The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, “You Can Be the Man of Your House.”

He stormed over to his wife in the kitchen and announced, “From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and...well... you get the point.

“Later, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe... Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?”

Without even looking up from her morning paper the wife replied, “The funeral director would be my first guess.”



Anybody willing to try this or do we have a bunch of chickens here?? :D

Jim M


From one plucked chicken to another... count me out!!!:eek:
 

2010augusta

Well-known member
I'd NEVER say that to my DW, but she could say that to me!

I already cook the meals, walk the dogs, do the laundry, clean the trailer, fix the trailer, and just in the past few weeks started working a few days a week.

She is a Nurse and works 12 hour shifts 3 or 4 days a week.

She is the woman of the trailer;)
 

jbeletti

Well-known member
Sounds like Sandy is the one that wears the stethoscope around there too :)

I assume you are now to be referred to as Professor Alan? :)
 

dbylinski

NE Reg Dir Retired
Alan,

That sounds like a great environment and we have a similar plan around here! John don't call me "Queenie" for no reason.:D
 

Bob&Patty

Founders of SoCal Chapter
NOPE NOT ME. If you think I would screw with a german lady from N. Dakata....YOUR NUTS:eek::eek::eek: Her humble servant Bobo:D:D
 

Rockerga

Full-time WANNABE
I have faced a lot of terrible even horrific things in my life and I am not afraid of anything so............put me down for a CLUCK, CLUCK, CLUCK HERE!:rolleyes:
 

buckeyebob

Well-known member
yea,i'm whooped too!she's a nurse also cluck,cluck!when my wife speaks to me,she gets on her knees!!!(and says "come out from under that bed you coward"!!!32 years so far!!
 

newbie

Northern Virginia
If my wife see's this I'm in big trouble.

OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF MEN...


"I'M GOING FISHING" means "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
"IT'S A GUY THING" means "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" means "Why isn't dinner already on the table?"
"UH HUH SURE, HONEY," or "YES, DEAR..." means absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" means "I have no idea how it works."
"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND." means "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."
"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD." means "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." means "Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS" means "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES" means "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
"OH, DON'T FUSS! I JUST CUT MYSELF IT'S NO BIG DEAL" means "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I am hurt."
"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING" means "And I sure hope I think of some pretty good reasons soon."
"I CAN'T FIND IT" means "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" means "What did you catch me at?"
"I HEARD YOU" means "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE" means "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realise it could be worse."
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC" means ""Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE" means "No one will ever see us alive again."
 

jimtoo

Moderator
Dear Newbie, Thanks for posting your wife's email address.:p.. do you prefer yellow or red roses? :angel: OR since I have not punched the send button :eek: on the program....do you have a suggestion to stop the progress of things?? :D Counting!!! 1 2 waiting on your humble reply, but not long...:D
 

Iver

Active Member
In my house I make all the big decisions.
My wife makes the small decisions and decides which is which.
 

SouthernNights

Past South Carolina Chapter Leader
In my house I make all the big decisions.
My wife makes the small decisions and decides which is which.

This is very close to how our family works with one exception...

I am told that there will never be any big decisions:D
 

katkens-DW

Founding Illinios Chapter Leader-retired
Just so you know Jim Kenny did'nt try it either. He knows who buys his toys!!!! Kathy:D:D
 

newbie

Northern Virginia
Ok, one more since Jim seems to have the wrong email address...

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die," she replied.
 
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