If you haven't used the toilet yet (new trailer ?), just pour a bucket of water or two down the toilet. Open the sewer connection and pull one valve at at time. When you get water shooting out, you've found the black tank valve. The other will be for the gray tank. But, there are usually 2 gray tanks and each has it's own valve. Normally, Gray #1 is for the lavatory and shower and Gray #2 is for the kitchen sink.