Paraprosdokians

avvidclif

Well-known member
>
> *Paraprosdokians**: A figure of speech in which the latter part of a
> sentence is unexpected and often humorous.*
>
>
>
> If I had a dollar for every girl who found me unattractive,
> they'd eventually find me attractive.
>
> I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom,
> until they're flashing behind you.
>
> Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the
> local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
>
> Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
>
> I'm great at multi-tasking--I can waste time, be unproductive, and
> procrastinate, all at once.
>
> If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
>
> Take my advice — I'm not using it.
>
> My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.
>
> Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you
> wish they were.
>
> Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
>
> Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
>
> Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men
> spend thinking.
>
> He who laughs last thinks slowest.
>
> Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?
>
> Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself
> type.
>
> I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
>
> I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn't find it.
>
> If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is *not* for you.
>
> Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
>
> If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
>
> Money is the root of all wealth.
>
> No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.


I like the first one....
 
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