Retired Person's Perspective

[danemayer]

Retired Person's Perspective​

1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.

2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.

3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably very unhappy.

4. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body.

5. I don't like making plans for the day. Because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

6. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row.

7. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

8. Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers: If you find one, what's your plan?

9. Everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege.

Old age is not asbad as I thought. It's a good feeling when you just don't give ahoot anymore and you feel happy just to wake up in the morning.

 

['Lil Guy']

Like

 

[Diamondjim]

Spot on!

 

[Bob&Patty]

My thoughts exactly. I'm old now and don't care what other people think.

 

[rahewett]

Which comedy channel are you on? My wife is going to get a kick out of this. Me, I loved it.

Sent from my XT1093 using Tapatalk

 

[mnkamper]

This is Great!
And..... I can identify with some of them! LOL

 

[JohnD]

I'm not retired yet (I am the old phart where I work) . . . but I agree with them all!

 

[Kbvols]

Lol! all great!

JohnD I am like you the old phart where I work. It amazes me how technology driven the younger generation is but also just how stupid some of them are.

 

[Lou_and_Bette]

Younger generation is so immersed in technology that they can't do anything without it while not remembering the first rule of computing. GI=GO but if that's what "my (insert technology device) says, it must be correct."

 

[Buster537]

Retire does take some getting 'use-to'. I cleared the Base on Friday and I think by Tuesday I was 'use-to' it.

 

[dlw930]

I have a short 2x4 block I put on the floor every morning and step around it in a circle 3 or 4 times. If anyone asks if I got any exercise today, I can honestly answer that I walked around the block several times.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Bob&Patty]

We have been living in the Horn for about 2 months now and it did take some getting use to. As far as exercise, Callie and I walk around the park many times a day....well she walks me.

 

[Doublegranch]

Well, I learned something new this morning.....Read on!

in case you were wondering....................


HOW THE INTERNET STARTED, ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE

---

​

Subj: HOW THE INTERNET STARTED, ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE









HOW THE INTERNET STARTED, ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE



Please do not Google or check this with Snopes. They will lie to you. Trust me!



In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.



And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"



And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"



And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."



Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.



To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew to the People (HTTP).



And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS. And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drum heads and drumsticks.



And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."



And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.



Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.



It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).



That is how it all began. And that's the truth.



I would not make up this stuff.









​

​

 

[Rollin_Free]

Younger generation is so immersed in technology that they can't do anything without it while not remembering the first rule of computing. GI=GO but if that's what "my (insert technology device) says, it must be correct."

Now remember, milennials probably don't know what GI=GO stands for unless they google it. Quick grab their phones!!