Where to Retire

[danemayer]

[FONT=&quot]Where to Retire





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[FONT=&quot]You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where




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[FONT=&quot]1. You are willing to park three blocks away from your house because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your rear-end from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door at 500 degrees.
6. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??




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[FONT=&quot]You can retire to California where...
1. You make over $450,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
5. The four seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud and Drought.


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[FONT=&quot]You can retire to New York City where...
1 You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car.)
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression



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[FONT=&quot]You can retire to Minnesota where...
1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.
3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.
6. The highest level of criticism is "He is different," "She is different," or "It was different!"




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[FONT=&quot]You can retire to The Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2 "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either: "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder.”[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]6. You can say anything about anyone, as long as you say "Bless his heart” at the end![/FONT]

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[FONT=&quot]You can move to Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, so he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail. [/FONT]

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[FONT=&quot]You can retire to Nebraska or Kansas where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition; "Where's my coat at?"

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[FONT=&quot]FINALLY you can retire to Florida where...
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind - even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist, or orthopedist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.[/FONT]




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[gwalter]

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[BigJim45]

Very True to all those places🤓🤑👍🙉🙊🙈

 

[kowAlski631]

Lol! 👏👏😅

 

[Oregon_Camper]

Funny Stuff...

Can't wait to retire (~ 7 years) and validate your list personally.

 

[Lynn1130]

Yep!

 

[SNOKING]

Where to Retire











You can retire toPhoenix, Arizona where





1. You are willing to park three blocks away from your house because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your rear-end from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door at 500 degrees.
6. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

Come on get it right Dan!

1. For shade you move to the other side or end of the RV.
2. No comment.
3. It is only a 90 minute drive from SE Phoenix to NW Phoenix. Want a smaller metro area, move to LA. BTW don't drive slow you will get run over.
4. No comment.
5. It is rained hard right now.
6. Seasons? Get out of the valley in July and August.
7. Take your awning down when the wind is going to blow. FWIW, you learn to check the weather site each day, or bye bye awning.

 

[MallardHead]

Kevin & Kandy Jones
HOC Member #3501
2017 Mallard M32

 

[Lynn1130]

3. It is only a 90 minute drive from SE Phoenix to NW Phoenix. Want a smaller metro area, move to LA. BTW don't drive slow you will get run over.

That is Phoenix, perhaps. Try SE Mesa to Sun City Grand at about 4:30 PM and I promise you won't have to worry about getting run over because you will seldom being going fast enough to do any damage.

 

[SNOKING]

That is Phoenix, perhaps. Try SE Mesa to Sun City Grand at about 4:30 PM and I promise you won't have to worry about getting run over because you will seldom being going fast enough to do any damage.

We are retarded and tend to travel at non peak times! OH! I mean retired. We are in Gold Canyon and have friends in Sun City West. Chris

 

[Lynn1130]

We are retarded and tend to travel at non peak times!

Thanks for that. I hate dodging snowbirds at rush hour

 

[Scott_Joanna]

[FONT=&quot]Where to Retire





[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]



[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where




[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]1. You are willing to park three blocks away from your house because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your rear-end from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door at 500 degrees.
6. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??




[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]


[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]OR


[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]


[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]You can retire to California where...
1. You make over $450,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
5. The four seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud and Drought.


[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]

[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]OR
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]

[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]You can retire to New York City where...
1 You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car.)
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression



[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]

[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]OR
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]

[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]You can retire to Minnesota where...
1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.
3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.
6. The highest level of criticism is "He is different," "She is different," or "It was different!"




[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]OR[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]



[FONT=&quot]You can retire to The Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2 "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either: "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder.”[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]6. You can say anything about anyone, as long as you say "Bless his heart” at the end![/FONT]

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot] OR[/FONT]


[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]You can move to Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, so he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]OR[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]You can retire to Nebraska or Kansas where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition; "Where's my coat at?"

OR[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]FINALLY you can retire to Florida where...
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind - even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist, or orthopedist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.[/FONT]




[/FONT]

Lol #2 in the Arizona was the best


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[Buster537]

He got something right - FLORIDA

 

[mlpeloquin]

He got something right - FLORIDA

Except for July, August, September, and October. But that is why you have an RV or love heat and humidity.

 

[SNOKING]

He got something right - FLORIDA

Except during the 12 month bug season? Or 6 month high humidity season.