Men Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES
* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call
each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately
refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman .
EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw
in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have
anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the
pocket
calculators.
MONEY
* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but
it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and
toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom
is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these
items.
ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.
FUTURE
*
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but
she does.
DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants,
empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate
during the night.
OFFSPRING
* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She
knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite
foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the
house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing!
NICKNAMES
* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call
each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately
refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman .
EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw
in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have
anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the
calculators.
MONEY
* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but
it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and
toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom
is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these
items.
ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.
FUTURE
*
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but
she does.
DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants,
empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate
during the night.
OFFSPRING
* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She
knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite
foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the
house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing!
