Thanks, but I just went through all of this when I bought HiSpec rims. I usually verify claims made by manufacturers before I buy, I did discover this subject during that research. I also know that the ultimate source is the owners manual, or wheel manufacturer, then lastly the standard torque specs, in that order. Dexter Axle will not give you a torque spec and they will refer you to the owners manual, if you change wheels your owners manual is not accurate anymore, but your wheel manufacturer specs are. Absent those figures then the standard applies. Dexters lugs are designed to take the values on the standard torque rating for lugs.
Remember when they were wiring houses with aluminum wire? They had a terrible time with burning down houses, they determined it to be the aluminum wire being used because copper was so expensive then. This was caused by a physical property of aluminum. Aluminum tends to give away to pressure, in the case of the wiring the lugs that held the wire were of a compressive nature and the wire would be tight when the electrician installed the wire but would give away to the pressure resulting in a loose connection and subsequent arc which caused the fires. Since then they developed a lug and a paste to secure aluminum wire. This has cured the problem.
In the case of the aluminum wheel, the hub does the same thing to an extent (wheel alloy is harder than wire alloy) so when you torque the wheel the manufacturer knows through engineering where that initial torque spec will decrease to in the application. So torque, then retorque after 50 and your wheels are set. they will give away to the pressure to a known value. With the wheel alloy there is very little difference, but a very small amount will loosen the lug and give you the feeling you experienced. This is why HiSpec wheels with steel lug inserts are worth the money for a rig if you intend to drag it all over the country. You torque them once and do not torque again except to verify. BTW never torque a hot hub.
I always use a torque wrench so that I can determine what the wheel is torqued to when I take it off, then that way I do not have to feel it, I measured it. If your torque value is 140 such as in my case, then I set my wrench to 135. If it breaks after 135, then we are good, but if it does not break soon after 135, i readjust the torque wrench to 140 and do it again, do this progressively until you get a break, in this manner you will know where they were. Remember they will not always break the same coming off so take it with a grain of salt. You should also remember that if you originally torqued a lug, and the torque decreases significantly for that lug then you need to change the lug because it is stretching. you will find this out at the 50 mile check. Dont panic retighten it, mark it and try to re torque it later. If it keeps giving away you need to find out why.
It is note worthy that the compression of the aluminum hub is probably not detectable by a common torque wrench. So if you torque to 140 it should stay at 140. Always use the same torque wrench. if one torque wrench is off by -2.5 lbs and another is off by +2.5 lbs then that is a significant 5 lbs. So if you are given a range of 135 to 145 and you desire to torque to 145 you could be off quite a bit especially if you use two different torque wrenches. I always split the difference in a range anyway.
This is conjecture based on some research, and my interpretation of it, take it to the extent that it makes sense to you. I'm certainly not an engineer, but I am a good wrench. I have my share of screwups and misconceptions. But I promise if you torque a 9/16 lug to 140 and it twist off then it is a bad lug.